This is a job for Bruce Willis, Ben Affleck, and Owen Wilson (?!).
And if they're not busy, Steve Buscemi and that big black guy with the overly-deep voice can come along for comic relief. A good oil spill needs a few jokes to keep things light and bubbly. Bubbly is probably a bad choice of words.
Also, this video below is one of my favorite things Mtv has done in the last decade:
With the long holiday weekend coming up, I can almost guarantee you'll be able to find Armageddon playing on TBS or TNT at some point during the weekend. If not, dust it off from your DVD collection and take part in nuking asteroids as they hurtle towards earth. Totally plausible.